बात सम्मान की है...

"क्षमा शोभती उस भुजंग को

जिसके पास गरल हो 

उसका क्या जो दंतहीन

विषरहित विनीत सरल हो"

कुछ दिनों पहले एक मित्र के याद दिलाने पर रामधारी सिंह 'दिनकर' की यह कविता पढ़ने का मौका मिला| आधुनिक हिन्दी साहित्य के जाने माने कवि दिनकर की "शक्ति और क्षमा" अपने शीर्षक के दोनों शब्दों को बेहतरीन तरह से समझाती है| कविता का सार है की शक्ति और क्षमा परस्पर एक दूसरे के साथ ही शोभा देते हैं| क्षमा कर देना हर व्यक्ति के बस में नहीं होता| जिस व्यक्ति में किसी  पर वार करने का बल न हो वह क्षमा करने योग्य नहीं होता बल्कि जो शक्तिशाली है, जिसमें कुछ बिगाड़ पाने का बल हो, क्षमा उसी व्यक्ति पर शोभा देती है| 

इसी प्रकार त्याग उसी व्यक्ति पर शोभा देता है जिसके पास त्याग करने योग्य कुछ हो| जैसे राजकुमार सिद्धार्थ जो राज-काज और संपत्ति के त्याग के बाद गौतम बुद्ध बने| कोई भिखारी या ग़रीब त्याग करे इसका कोई अर्थ नहीं बनता क्योंकि उसके पास त्याग करने के लिए  है ही क्या? और अब बात ईमानदारी की। एक अमीर व्यक्ति यदि किसी के बकाया रूपए लौटाए तो वह इमानदार है। बेशक वह इमानदार है। पर ऐसा व्यक्ति जिसके पास कुछ ख़ास संपत्ति या धन नहीं है फिर भी बेईमानी के पैसे लेना उसकी फितरत में नहीं है, जो बकाया पैसे सूत समेत बिना बहाने लौटा दे, ऐसा व्यक्ति न ही सिर्फ ईमानदार है बल्कि सम्मान के योग्य भी है।

शायद आपको लगेगा के आज के समय में ऐसे लोग कहाँ मिलते हैं जो शक्तिशाली होने के साथ क्षमाशील हो, धनी होने के साथ त्यागी हो, और ईमानदार तो बस एक शब्द भर सा लगता है। आपको आश्चर्य होगा यह जानकर के मैं वास्तव में एक ऐसे व्यक्ति को जानती हूँ जिसके पास किसी तरह बस दो वक़्त की रोटी कमाने का जरिया है, जो महनत का काम कर अपने परिवार का पेट भरता है, और इश्वर से बस इतना मांगता है की बेटे और बेटियाँ खूब पढ़ सकें और एक दिन इमानदारी और इज्ज़त की कमाएं और खाएं।

वह एक महिला है जो मेरे घर काम करती है। माता-पिता नौकरी पेशा है तो इन्हें हमने घर के काम और देखभाल के लिए रखा है। आप समझ सकतें हैं की किस तरह की महिला होगी वह जिसे हम "आई" कहतें हैं, मराठी में इसका अर्थ है "माँ"। आई किसी कहानी की आदर्श पात्र हो सकती है। पर वह सिर्फ एक कहानी की पात्र नहीं है बल्कि मानों जीवन के एक अद्ध्याय को समझ जाने के लिए बनाई गई एक पात्र है। आई की तरह जीवन जी पाना उतना आसान नहीं है जितना की मैं लिख पा रहीं हूँ या आप पढ़ पा रहे हैं। मानना होगा आई के उस धैर्य और विश्वास को जो आज भी दुनिया में अच्छाई को बनाए हुए है। कभी सोचती हूँ की कितना मुश्किल होगा हमारे लिए उस इंसान से अलग हो पाना जिसने खुद कभी पढाई तो नहीं की पर हमें बहुत कुछ सिखा दिया, जो खून के रिश्ते में कुछ न लगते हुए भी परिवार का हिस्सा है, जिसने हमसे काम या रुपये का रिश्ता नहीं बल्कि दिल का रिश्ता बनाया है। मुझे गर्व है की आई मेरी ज़िन्दगी का हिस्सा है।

इस सब के बाद भी वह तीन-चार हज़ार रूपए ही कमाती है। पर ये मूल्य उस काम का है जो उसका शरीर करता है, वास्तव में तो आई ने सम्मान कमाया है। 

Concern vs judgement

Call it concern, care or even possessiveness if fine, but there it makes a big difference with being 'concerned' and being 'judgemental'. Most of the times people say that they are concerned about you but this is what they just say and do not mean. You are always judged by others on your situations and their thinking, for what you do and what they think you must do, for what you really want and what they think you should want...

I have seen there are friends who break up at a certain point in their life because of this problem of giving judgement every time. Specially when it comes to friends, I think, it should just be a listening thing. After all 'listening' is one thing that takes away anger (at least in my case :P). For friends, you can be crazy with them, shout loud when u feel, cry when you are frustrated, abuse to your end limit and then get back to normal. Yes, you can be worst in front of your friend. This is what make the relation special. But here comes the problem when the concern of a friend becomes rules for the other, when they promise they'll understand when your bad but they don't, it is when one gives judgement on every possible thing, other doesn't want that and...break up...!!

When you are a friend to someone, you have to be with them as they are, you can't and shouldn't try to change them, but if they do change, let it be. Its natural, accept it! And now when you start judging, you start irritating. And the funny thing is, you expect that your friend who is frustrated will listen to your judgement and will follow what you suggest!

See, how it is coming up. Its not just a slight difference in pronunciation but a big difference in meaning that changes life. A tip for a healthy and happy relationship "Do accept but do not expect!"

Just a matter of understanding

How different personality people have even when they have same interests and caliber but have so different situations in life.

Everyone says that a self made man is always the one who 'always stands out' than a man who 'always had facilities and opportunities' to become some one who stands out. Compare a successful businessman who is a son of a successful businessman with a successful businessman who is a son of a successful carpenter. The man who will 'stand out' in this case for people will be the son of a carpenter. I find it so unfortunate for the son of a businessman who has to bear this pressure of 'standing out' from others. Of course he had opportunities but i hate this when people start expecting that he will have to pursue what his father does and if he doesn't, he is not worth any respect! (You never know, he could have been the best musician of the country!)

What about a woman? She is respected, oh sorry, that is a rare thing! Let me correct, she is appreciated (rather) when she is pretty even when she is 50 and is an active participant in the society where men gets to talk to her. But than again, this is when she is lucky enough to get a good husband and in-laws who let her work for herself. What would you say about a woman who is still in a conflict about how to bring herself up in society while her husband is busy earning respect for 'himself' and she has no one to share responsibilities than herself? She is still in the cycle of going for the job, coming back home, cooking, taking care of the children... When she tries to help her husband, he scolds that she doesn't know about what he is doing and how his work is done. "Mr. husband, if you'll know how she manages to do all this (managing her job and home), may be then she'll know about 'what are you doing and how your work is done'!" Here I'm not talking about the unlucky middle class women who do not even get the liberty to work but about the unfortunate ladies of so called educated families who get the liberty to work but are still counted unequal to that of their husbands.

This is a real problem of our society that no law would ever be able to change (although I don't want something like that). This inequality is in the mentality and has become the hard core nature of a human being. Be it a man or a woman, both have already decided for themselves; who will cook, who will help children in home work, who will earn money, who will represent the family... And the woman who do not accept this treatment, who are as successful, active and most importantly free as men, are generally single!

I won't say it is solely because of men but women are also responsible for that. But just one help of man in helping children in homework, or cooking on weekends, or making evening tea sometimes, or just a sweet smile saying 'I'll tell you how it works' is all what a woman wants!! I, again, think these small acts can bring a big (optimistic) changes in relationships, can change moments to 'happy moments', can make at least a part of our society better...

And yes, I THINK this way because I have seen this happen!!

Starts with thinking

So this is my first post in my blog! Since a long time i was thinking of starting a blog but unfortunately it remained a thought but today it got a chance to come to reality. Sometimes i think too much to begin with something as i don't find it right to give out stupid things(i, again, 'think' that sometimes my thought are stupid :P), but u see, u learn from mistakes. I'm sure it must have happened with a lot of people, as with me too, to come up with a real good name for the blog (or may be it happened with only me :/) but i got confused with what will i write?

I thought...thought...thought...and realised that this time i'll not 'think' too much on this. And finally came up with writing about what i do most of the times, i.e., i 'think' so much that i make story out of anything and the next hour i forget it! So why not write the stuff that comes in my mind for every possible thing that i see! I enjoy writing and i hope that my friends would like to read that 'stuff'' and will like it...

Cheers :D